Solitude and Loneliness

I do not find solitude enough. In college, I am always in someone's presence; whether it be my roommate or other floormates, company is all around. Even whilst at home, solitude does not often find me. Even still, I find loneliness in every noisy moment and I yearn for company in each quiet breath. One would think that being surrounded by other life would cause loneliness to be kept at bay, but this is not the case.

I require much solitude, and I often find it in moments with a particularly engrossing novel where I am swept away to other worlds and transported into another's life with their friends and family. I find solitude in the constant hum of my computer's fan while quietly clicking small black keys by the faint light of my laptop screen, creating another world and writing another's life. I find solitude in the stillness of winter, where every sound out of the intense silence is magnified by the glittering snow.

While solitude is not easily captured, loneliness often interrupts my thoughts. Loneliness finds me most often whilst I am surrounded by company. Loneliness comes to me in the middle of a boring and forced reading, in the midst of a frustrating conversation, and, most annoyingly, when stress is suffocating me. Loneliness is found in the most mundane acts of life when one's mind has nothing to dwell itself with.

Solitude and loneliness seem to be similar, but I find they are often opposites. I find solitude in the peaceful acts of life, while loneliness finds me during the times when I would give anything to escape into another world. I am always in search of solitude, while loneliness is always in search of me.

Posted by Jane | at 2/09/2011 02:23:00 PM


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