Friendship Factor Review

It has been some time since I have written a review for lack of time to read for pleasure anymore.  However, in my Basic Communication class we were required to read The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis. I’ll admit I started the book reluctantly even though my instructor reassured us that it would be a “keeper”. Now that I’ve finished it, I’m glad I did.


No matter what one has been through, chances are he or she has been through hardships in some sort of relationship, and I am no exception to that rule. The Friendship Factor touches on points that many people, myself included, never really sit down to think about in a relationship. There were quite a few great things that McGinnis mentioned throughout the book, but a few have stuck with me in the last couple weeks that it’s been assigned to read.

First, McGinnis has Five Guidelines for Cultivating Intimacy in the second part of his book. I’ll list each of the chapter titles and give a summary of what I learned from each.
1.       Please Touch- Use your body to demonstrate warmth—touch is for everyone (including me).
2.       The Art of Affirmation- Be liberal with praise—instilling self-confidence in others can boost your own.
3.       A Coffee-Cup Concept of Marriage- Schedule leisurely breaks for conversation—fifteen minutes of sit-down-stop-everything-else time is enough to keep a marriage—or friendship—going.
4.       How to Improve Your Conversational Skills-Learn to listen—listening is the single most important thing in any relationship; hearing and listening aren’t the same.
5.       When Tears Are a Gift from God-Talk freely about your feelings—while you don’t have to disclose everything with everyone, you should be able to talk about your feelings with at least one or two close friends.

Secondly, the only thing I actually wrote down from this book is from the chapter entitled Six Techniques to Help You Get Angry without Becoming Destructive. I put each in my own words:
1.       Talk about feelings, not faults.
2.       Stick to one topic, don’t bring up the past
3.       Allow time for response
4.       Vent and resolve, don’t come and conquer
5.       Don’t drink and argue
6.       Criticize, then show affection

That’s what I mainly took away from the book; and Dr. Smith was right when he said it’s a keeper. I recommend this book to anyone, regardless of if you think your relationships are going well or not. I will end this with two quotes from the book that really stood out.

‎"A true apology is more than just acknowledgement of a mistake. It is recognition that something you have said or done has damaged a relationship -- and that you -care- enough about the relationship to want it repaired and restored."  
--Norman Vincent Peale


"Someday, after we have mastered the winds and the waves, the tides, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love, and then for the second time in the history of the world...[we] will have discovered fire." 
--Teilhard de Chardin 

Posted by Jane | at 10/07/2010 04:21:00 PM

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